Why People Resist Us
Why People Resist Us
There's a one-word reason most ideas never see the light of day: Resistance.
Resistance is often behind the glassy-eyed stares you get following a presentation, the sarcastic put-downs you have to put up with when you describe your vision for a new product or service, and other people's abrupt departure from the water cooler when you approach, enthusiastic and ready to share an idea. What people are saying to you, either directly or indirectly is, I've heard your idea and I don't get it, I don't like it, or I don't like you.
By understanding the resistance getting in the way of your ideas, you can work to turn opposition into support. How can you do it? Use clear language and good listening skills to head-off resistance before it takes on a life of its own. When you can't avoid it, learn how to recognize and address the three most common types of resistance so you can keep conversations moving forward and bring ideas closer to implementation.
Here are the three primary forms resistance takes-and what you can do to make each work for you instead of against you: Level 1 resistance: "I don't get it." When you see a person's eyes glaze over, eyebrows furrow, or head tip slightly to one side or another, they're sending you an unspoken message: "I don't get what you're saying." That's your cue to slow down and touch base with the person before they get so confused or lost in the morass of your idea that they lose interest altogether. After all, if people don't get your idea, there's no chance they'll support it.
Level 1 resistance involves the world of facts, figures, and data. It crops up often when people in highly-technical fields, like computer science, try to share their brainchildren with the rest of the company. They go to great lengths to explain how a software package or new hardware configuration can solve problems-and even generate profit over the long-term, and somewhere between the bits and bytes, underlying the multi-acronym sentences featuring POSIX, WYSIWYG, XT/AT, and UNIX, is a brilliant idea. It's just that-alas-it can only be understood and appreciated by other high-tech experts.
If you find yourself in this position, step back from your idea and consider your audience. How can you communicate the idea to them in language-minus all traces of jargon-that they can understand? Will pictures, models, slides, an on-site walk-through, help? Clear, thoughtful, two-way communication is the key to overcoming Level 1 resistance.
Level 2 resistance: "I don't like it." Sometimes your ideas can trigger an emotional response, typically rooted in fear, that causes another person to hem and haw about your idea or to actively oppose it. Some of the fears underlying these Level 2 responses include: The concern that something about your idea will make the other person look bad or lose status in the eyes of others.
Worry that your idea will cost the person his job or endanger his financial security.
Nervousness that your idea will cause the person to fail, perhaps as a result of-and in the wake of-your success.
The emotions behind Level 2 responses get in the way of productive communication. If they're never aired, these fears fester until what was once a tiny bump on the road to implementation is now an enormous boulder blocking your way. Recognize and address the fears underlying Level 2 resistance and your idea is more likely to continue moving forward.
Level 3 resistance: "I don't like you." Picture this: You're in a meeting with your accountant when she says, "I've got good news for you. I've found some loop holes that will significantly reduce your taxes." A year ago-prior to the Enron debacle-you might have welcomed both the accountant and her ideas with open arms. Now, however, the system of checks-and-balances she represents is tainted by what you've read and seen on television, and every idea she proposes gets run through a filter of suspicion in your mind. That's Level 3 resistance.
While the other two types of resistance have to do with your ideas, Level 3 resistance is about you-ouch. When you're the one doing the proposing, your history with others, as well as their bias, prejudice or mistrust, influence how your idea is heard and received.
Level 3 resistance is the toughest to deal with because it's so hard to believe-and accept-that there are people in the world who don't like you and everything you stand for. However, if you choose to deny or ignore it, your ideas will never get off the drawing board.
The key to dealing effectively with Level 3 resistance is to step outside yourself and see what others see when they look at you-and what they hear when they listen to you.
Once you've made an effort to see yourself and your idea through another's eyes, try these techniques for working through and moving beyond all three levels of resistance-'I don't get it,' 'I don't like it,' and 'I don't like you:'
Focus on conversation, not presentation. Ask questions to find out what's going on in the other person's mind and why she opposes your idea.
Listen carefully to what others say in response to your idea-both verbally and through their body language and behaviors.
Avoid knee-jerk reactions, like defensiveness, sarcasm and shutting down.
Find ways to connect with others. Paraphrase their concerns to show that you're listening; embrace suggestions that piggy-back on your idea; and make it clear that there's room-and opportunity-for others to join you as you move forward to implement the idea.
Resistance at any level is good because it demonstrates that others hear you and are intrigued enough about your ideas to oppose them. That may sound like cold comfort, but it's not: Figure out what's behind resistance and you'll be well on your way to turning opposition into support.
Rick is an advisor to organizations on ways to lead Change without Migraines?. He is author of many books on change including Why Don't You Want What I Want? and Beyond the Wall of Resistance. You can access free articles and tools at http://www.beyondresistance.com
RELATED ARTICLES Directed Introspection One of the greatest obstacles to progress can often be our awareness of past failures. If we tried something a couple of years ago and fell flat on our faces (and especially if we were ridiculed or derided as a result) we tend to be reluctant to rock the boat again. When we believe that history will repeat itself, we become paralysed by fear. Thoughts on Empowerment People are empowered when they are given the authority and responsibility to make decisions affecting their work with a minimum of interference and second guessing by others. 10 Fundamentals for Effective Meeting Here are ten fundamental concepts that characterize an effective meeting. Turnaround or Terminate? How to Deal with Problem Employees Do you struggle with a "problem" employee? If so, join the crowd! Many of my coaching clients - businesses owners or managers - tear their hair out over one or more toxic employees. In our business environment, we tend to recreate the dynamics of the family we grew up, so no wonder problems develop. Dont Let Your Measurements Mislead You Don't Let Your Measurements Mislead You There aren't too many words that can strike as much fear and loathing into the hearts of your internal customers, and sometimes your own employees as the words "Operational Measurements". Operational Measurements often get a bad rap because of their misuse by well intended, but misinformed management. And it's easy for your employees to view Operational Measurements as some kind of cheap trick to force more work out of them as you constantly try and force more and more production from your team. Meanwhile, your sales team thinks that you will use Operational Measurements to cloud the issue of customer satisfaction by pointing to your "great numbers" while leaving the customer very unhappy. The truth is that you cannot succeed in managing an operational organization without the proper measurements in place. Any attempt to run an organization without them is doomed to failure because you will lack the fundamental information required to manage your business. Coach Dave is a strong believer in Operational Measurements because he knows that the right measurements, taken in a consistent fashion will allow you to continuously improve the performance of the organization and the company. Yep, Operational Measurements are good. . . . except of course, when they are bad. In simple terms, Operational Measurements are progress meters that can tell you how well, or how poorly your group is performing. The key to successful Operational Measurements is to make sure that you are managing and measuring your key processes. It all starts with your departmental or company objectives. You should have 2 to 3 major objectives, depending upon the size and scope of your organization. The key is to focus on whatever it is that you are really being asked to deliver on, and then set up your objectives, and Operational Measurements in a way that can tell you if you are succeeding or not. If your objective is production based (i.e. produce 50 widgets per month) then make sure that your measurements track the number of widgets produced. If your measurement is time based (i.e. complete widgets within 10 days of receipt) then once again, make sure that your measurement tracks to the objective. You would be surprised how easy it is to create measurements that sound important, but have nothing to do with your stated objectives. For example, if you goal is to paint 10 houses each month a metric that tracks how many brushes you use may sound important for cost control purposes, but it really has nothing to do with the objective. By focusing on the number of brushes you use, you may actually impede your ability to complete the goal of 10 houses. Ensuring that your objectives and measurements are in synch will keep you and your department focused on the prize. Once you have your key measurements in place, you can start to look for a pattern in the results. If you are not able to meet your objectives, the question has to become "why". It could be a variety of factors from bad inputs, to bad processes, to bad people. To determine where the problem is, break out your measurements in that area to each key step in the process. As you examine those results it will become more apparent that "step 5" takes up 80% of the processing time. Then you can focus on reducing the time spent on that step. One other key factor to account for as you measure your process steps is "wait time". "Wait time" doesn't always manifest itself clearly in reporting, so spend the time to analyze how many handoffs exist in your process and ask yourself and your staff if some of those handoffs can be eliminated through combing functions, training, etc. It is simply amazing the amount of time lost in a process due to the "wait time" while an order is sent from one person to the next. Reducing the "wait time" can dramatically improve your results. In a nutshell, that's why you need to have good, clean Operational Measurements in place. Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count. - Albert Einstein Any time your organization receives some kind of a work order from a customer (internal or external) adds value to it, and then either completes it or passes it along to another organization, you qualify as an Operational Organization. As an Operational Organization you need to have solid measurements in place to measure, validate, and eventually improve your own internal processes. But there is a downside to Operational Measurements as well. The downsides can take many forms, but the most common are when you start to measure everything that you do, simply because you can. Also, when your measurements rather than your customers, begin to drive how you do business. Are you counting the right things? The right way? Are you counting so many things that counting them has turned into your primary business? Are you helping your customers, or hurting them? That's the difference between good Operational Measurements, and bad ones. When Operational Measurements Go Bad: When you first implement your Operational Measurements, you will spend a lot of time analyzing, improving, and tweaking them. The painstaking process of developing and implementing the right measurements requires a lot of time up front. But that time is time well invested to make sure your measurements are complete, accurate, and in synch with your organizational objectives. You must spend the necessary hours making sure that your Operational Measurements track to your objectives, that they provide a consistent measurements, and that they are at the appropriate level of detail to allow you to identify weaknesses in your operation, and implement improvements. But, when you find yourself counting things because you can, or you begin adding measurements that do not relate to your objectives that's the first sign of trouble. Also, when your Operational Measurements become the sole driver in your organization, that's a pretty good sign that you've turned the corner and are headed down the wrong path. Remember, not everything that counts, can be counted. And just because you can count it, doesn't mean you should count it. Let's use the example we previously discussed of a house painter. For our purposes here, this is a big house painting company with multiple crews who do different types of painting. At the start of the year the decision is made to set a new objective for your crew. You are now being asked to paint 13 houses per month with the same size crew, up from just 10 last year. You sit down with your crew and begin to look for ways to improve productivity. You make the necessary changes to your team or process and then set out to accomplish your new goal. Your changes are effective and productivity improves and you start reaching your new goal. Then, a funny thing happens. You get a memo from your boss that goes something like this. "The bean counters tell me that your paint brush usage is up 15% above last year. Every dollar counts, so I'm putting together a special task force to cut the number of paintbrushes being used. We need to reduce our paint brush usage to 10% below last years level within 30 days." And . . . . we're off . . . . this is what I sometimes refer to as "The Operational Measurement Shuffle". What is the Operational Measurements Shuffle? It's a dance that management sometimes does where we lose focus on our objectives and instead start dancing with a lot of extraneous information that may LOOK important, but really isn't. Sometimes it's not entirely clear when the Operational Measurements Shuffle actually begins. But if you pay attention, you'll see the dance by the end of the first chorus. We're now going to start counting things (paintbrush usage) that has nothing to do with our objectives, but that looks important to someone else far away. Notice that the boss didn't ask you to explain why paintbrush usage was up, nor did he look at the cost/benefit of paintbrush usage versus revenue, he just told you to reduce the usage. You can expect this new measurement to be followed by new measurements of the painters' hats being used, the amount of thinner being used, and questions about the number of rungs required on the ladders. And lastly he blamed the "bean counters". The uninformed always blame the bean counters. At first glance you might think that it's ok to wonder about the paintbrush usage. And it is. But there is a difference between asking a question, and putting in new measurements to track them. For example, a smart boss would have called and asked about the increase in the number of paintbrushes being used. Your response might have been something like this. "That's right. Our paintbrush usage is up. In order to meet our goals for the year (13 houses per month) we made a change from regular paintbrushes to disposable paintbrushes. The new brushes cost 30% less than the old ones, plus we save on turpentine, and clean up time at the end of each day. So our paintbrush usage is up, but our costs are flat or down." With a good boss, that will end the discussion. You've answered the questions, explained the variance, and shown that there is just cause for the increase. But a bad boss will not listen at all, or will just pretend to listen and then suggest new measurements on paintbrush usage. With a bad boss the fact that there is a valid reason for the increase in paintbrush usage is not really relevant. Paintbrush usage is up, and it must be reduced. For a bad boss, it's as simple as that. If you have learned how to manage your boss, then maybe you can convince them that the measurements are not relevant by showing how they don't relate to and can even detract from your objectives. But some bosses are so enamored with measurements that they can't tell a good measurement from a bad one. The long and short of this discussion is simple. If your measurements are clearly in support of your objectives, you are most likely on the right track. If your measurements have wandered from the objectives, no longer support your customers, or even put you at odds with your objectives, it's time to take a step back and rethink your measurements. After all, who are we to argue with Einstein Dealing with Difficult People You know, this would be a great business if it weren't for having to deal with people all the time? The Red Phone - Management Consulting in 30 Seconds or Less Modern business faces complex problems; management often calls upon highly-specialized consultants to help them address these difficult problems. If you're ever called to help identify these most pressing issues, one of the easiest and quickest ways to start is to talk about the "Red Phone". Time-Wasting Problems - One Question to Move You Forward In any organisation, progress is frequently impaired by the time taken up to resolve problems that occur again and again - usually with people's performance (or not!). At a macro level, there could just seem to be 'lots of problems', which is a symptom in itself. On a micro level, managers are often frustrated by the amount of time they spend fire-fighting, whilst the more creative work of planning, developing people, marketing and more are left way behind.There just isn't time. Build onto that the lack of fairness, that having to regularly resolve problems posed by just a few demanding people in the team, can leave many others, including the manager himself, very de-motivated. Then your best people start to leave... Making Your Workers Your Partners There is an inherent conflict between owners and managers of companies. The former want, for instance, to minimize costs - the latter to draw huge salaries as long as they are in power (who knows what will transpire tomorrow). For companies traded in the stock exchanges, the former wish to maximize the value of the stocks (short term), the latter might have a longer term view of things. In the USA, shareholders place emphasis on the appreciation of the stocks (the result of quarterly and annual profit figures). This leaves little room for technological innovation, investment in research and development and in infrastructure. The theory is that workers who are also own stocks will avoid these cancerous conflicts which, at times, bring companies to ruin and, in many cases, dilapidate them financially and technologically. Whether reality leaves up to theory, is an altogether different question to which we will dedicate a separate article. Executives and Emotional Self Awareness A major problem impairing an executive's performance is his Emotional Blind Spots. Emotions, whether we like them or not, have a significant impact on one's decisions. An example is the Enron case where executives ran into severe ethical and legal consequences after falling prey to the destructive negative emotions of greed and self-interest. It is perplexing how many success driven executives, choose to fear addressing the impact of negative emotions on personal and organizational performance. Five Overlooked Ways To Hire Winners Here is a true story. My dentist did a "clinical" evaluation of my teeth. That is his fancy way to say he looked in my mouth and starred at my teeth with his own two eyes. He found no cavities in his "clinical" evaluation. I felt happy and relieved! Five Problem-Solving Success Tips The ability to solve complicated problems quickly is more important than ever in today's tough economy. 6 Ways to Keep Things Simple Six Ways to Keep Things Simple Successful Managing Through Delegation Managers should avoid the tendency to constantly delegate to the same one or two capable individuals. This practice only overloads the best personnel while slighting all others. The Seven Cs: Partnership Danger Signs - The 5th C: Control Issues A series of articles exploring the seven critical areas that can indicate a partnership is in trouble. Never Hire Anyone Dumber Than You Are! In a previous life I was a Navy Pilot. Great life, great people to be around. People who were all doing great things around the world flying off great big aircraft carriers. In an environment that complex and dangerous, you need to have teams of people working as one, or bad things begin to happen in large quantities. Developing Your Mission "The best Leader is one who knows how to pick good people to do what he or she wants done and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it." - Heidi Richards - Problem-Solving Success Tip: Define the Problem First Define the Problem First. It seems obvious, but how many times have we gone to a problem-solving meeting and the discussion started with either whose fault was it or an assertion about the proper solution? Leadership: Stoking The Success Train Everyone wants to succeed yet everyone has a different perception of what success means and what it will bring into their lives. It is a means of gaining financial freedom for some and for others it means a healthy, happy family life. There are others who define their success by the power that their job title brings and others who feel successful when they believe their leadership skills excel above others. Innovation Management ? Reducing Hierarchy Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.